Friday, August 22, 2008

At the Foot of His Bed

So, as many of you heard, Ryan got a dog. He's this little black mop of a thing. Not much different then my dog. Completely black with a slightly brown underside, so black in fact that sometimes it's even hard to figure out where even his eyes are, among all that black.

Two dogs, similar shape, color, and appearance. In the dim light, it's even hard for ME to differentiate from the two of them if their faces aren't looking at me. Though, with all their similarities, their personalities couldn't be any different.

Samwise, or Sammywise, as my little cousin calls him, is VERY independent. Sleeps by himself, sits by himself, and only comes to me when he thinks he's going to get something. If I yell his name once, he'll come bounding towards me like a hell hound. But if I don't reward him with "the goods", well that's the last of that. I'll be lucky if I even get pompous glance from him the next time I call him. He's friendly enough though. When people come over, he's the first to say hi. However, don't expect him to stick around once he's throughly sniffed you in ever creavice conceivable. However, in many ways I envy him. He has this, "I don't care what you think", attitude and stance. When you pick him up does he jump so it's easier for you to lift him? Does he tuck in his feet so you can hold him up nicely? Of course not. Whatever position you picked him up in, that's the position he'll stay in and if you don't like that you may as well put him down. He doesn't need the affirmation of no one, no how.

Then there's Dickens. Good ole Dickens. Not only does he come when I call, but he'll fly off the couch, bound between the other dogs and their food (not always the smartest move), race through the house, then continues to launch himself four feet in the air landing right beside me on the bed. Does it matter if I have a treat? maybe... Does he care if I ask him to this a hundred times a day? possibly... But he never shows it! He loyally follows me and obeys me no matter how daunting it may seem ( I don't sit still very well.) Sometimes I'll even come out of the BATHROOM and there he will be, just sitting by the door. His favorite time of the day is "time for bed", where he chases after me, snuggles himself at the foot of my bed and he just sleeps. Whenever I look around, if I don't see him, it's almost always because he's tucked under my feet, curled up on the carpet. For him, his job, come hell or highwater, seems to be just to be with me. To rest near me. To follow me.

During this time of waiting on God I've really had to examine how I am responding to God. Do I sit by myself, too preoccupied with what's in it for me? Or am I like Dickens. He can't really feed himself, wash himself, give himself water...or really do anything other then eat, sleep, and play. Yet, he's learned to follow the voice of his master. "to lie down in green be led by streams of water". So utterly dependent, so utterly needy.

God is the reason I am able to wake up in the morning. He is my Master, and I know he is utterly in love with me. What other reason do I need to spend the rest of my days pursuing Him?
What other reason do I need?
to just lay by his feet
and sleep at the foot of his bed.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


Lean on Me
by Bill Withers

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

These lyrics have really rung true for me, during these last few days.

This last week has been really hard on me due to fundraising. Our first SDSU staff meetings are coming up so soon and I feel we are so far away from being able to move. SDSU's Sept 2nd start up date feels likes it's pummeling down on us. I feel so broken and disheartened at times. It's only been 10 days since are temporary move but it seems like a lifetime, a lifetime of waiting and not very well on my part at that. When Lord, will you allow us to move to San Diego?

I try my best to figure our what it means to minister where I am RIGHT NOW, but it's sooo difficult to figure that out. I feel like I'm in limbo. Everyone keeps saying things like "I'm so glad that you are still here in AZ." I appreciate their sentiment, and I do love everyone in Arizona so much, but my thoughts and plans are already ahead of me in San Diego. So, I fall into despair. Wrestling with my thoughts and heart. Thinking, we will never get there.

God has brought Ecclesiastes to mind during these times:

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

I thank God so much for Ryan especially now. He has been my support his week. To spur me on, to help me up, to keep me warm, and to defend me against my own dark thoughts. He is my gift from God. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Along with him, there are so many of you who also listen so patiently to my cries. You are the one's I lean on.

So, in closing, we continue to openly invite you to become partners with us financially. Only 19 more people, who pledge $50 a month, to get us to San Diego. God only asks that we invite, He will do the rest. In the mean time. Thank you for letting me "Lean on You."

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Halfway There!

So, we have finally hit the 50% mark! We want to give all the praise and glory and honor to the Lord for helping us to get this far! After all, at one point we were at 0% and now we are at 50%! Only God is able to make this happen!

This whole experience has really caused me to run to God's Word. It has caused me to listen to what He has to say about Himself, and what He would have me learn about Himself. Two things that have really stuck out to me as I have been spending time with Him in His word is that those who trust Him WILL be blessed [Psalm 115] and that He listens to His people and, and hears them [Psalm 116:1,2]. This is huge, because this is the God of the universe who stoops down and actually listens to and hears His people's supplications and voices! This has really encouraged me to pray confidently and earnestly to our God knowing that He IS listening and takes into account my prayers.

This has also reminded me that God is good and that He is sovereign. He will provide for us all the funding that we need in His perfect timing and will also provide for us the housing that we need in San Diego perfectly in His time. All God requires from us is simply, that we are faithful in pursuing fund-raising. But, really, this is all He wants from us in our Christian walk as well. Just be faithful in pursuing Him. That is want what we plan on doing. Just be faithful.

Behind all of this, I am still SUPER excited about getting to San Diego and laboring amongst the college students at SDSU. It will also be very exciting to make new friends with the staff and with the people around there as well!

Please be praying with us:
1. That God provides the next 50% for us by September.
2. That God provides us housing in San Diego.
3. That God would mightily work in the students' lives at SDSU.
4. That God would be preparing Valerie and I for the transition to SDSU.

We love all of you who in our lives and who are supporting us either financially or through prayers, or both! Thank you all for helping us to get so far!

In Christ,

Ryan Buss