by Bill Withers
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me...
These lyrics have really rung true for me, during these last few days.
This last week has been really hard on me due to fundraising. Our first SDSU staff meetings are coming up so soon and I feel we are so far away from being able to move. SDSU's Sept 2nd start up date feels likes it's pummeling down on us. I feel so broken and disheartened at times. It's only been 10 days since are temporary move but it seems like a lifetime, a lifetime of waiting and not very well on my part at that. When Lord, will you allow us to move to San Diego?
I try my best to figure our what it means to minister where I am RIGHT NOW, but it's sooo difficult to figure that out. I feel like I'm in limbo. Everyone keeps saying things like "I'm so glad that you are still here in AZ." I appreciate their sentiment, and I do love everyone in Arizona so much, but my thoughts and plans are already ahead of me in San Diego. So, I fall into despair. Wrestling with my thoughts and heart. Thinking, we will never get there.
God has brought Ecclesiastes to mind during these times:
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
I thank God so much for Ryan especially now. He has been my support his week. To spur me on, to help me up, to keep me warm, and to defend me against my own dark thoughts. He is my gift from God. I don't know what I'd do without him.
Along with him, there are so many of you who also listen so patiently to my cries. You are the one's I lean on.
So, in closing, we continue to openly invite you to become partners with us financially. Only 19 more people, who pledge $50 a month, to get us to San Diego. God only asks that we invite, He will do the rest. In the mean time. Thank you for letting me "Lean on You."