"Building upon the imperishable, rather than the perishable"

This is Ryan Buss. I know that Valerie has been blogging for the last couple of months, so I thought that it was an appropriate time for me to blog! She has done such a wonderful job, I feel like she is tough act to follow. However, I will blog and hope that it is articulate enough for you, the reader, to enjoy and think about with me on this matter :)

I just had a quiet time with the Lord in Psalm 49. It is a wonderful Psalm written by the sons of Korah who have written several Psalms to our Lord that He included in His written Word. This Psalm comes at a very good time in my life as I ponder and consider the future for me and my wife. To be perfectly honest, our funding has been quite slow and hard going, and I have naturally been asking myself if this is the path that God would have us walk down. As I have been considering other paths and careers that I could pursue, God has been very faithful in our times toghether in His Word to remind me to wait patiently and to trust Him!

Every quiet time I have had with the Lord this summer at least one of those themes would come up and I would feel encouraged by Him to keep pressing on and to persever in this time of hardship. Today, it was about my career options in general and how I am doing exactly what I love to do, and what I feel passionately led to do! The Psalm is all about how every single person is under the same inevitability of death and how all of our strivings and pursuits will avail nothing if not with the glory of God in mind. Here are a couple of verses from that Psalm that I have been pondering and have been turning my eyes back to the lifestyle that God has led me into:

Psalm 49

vs. 10" For he sees that even wise men die; the stupid and the senseless alike perish and leave their wealth to others."
vs. 16,17" Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house is increased; for when he dies he will carry nothing away; his glory will not descend after him."

These are intense verses, but they remind me of how transient our life is and how the stuff that we strive for in this life is often stuff that doesn't last and will burn away in eternity.

As I was reading, I was reminded of Paul's first letter to the Corinthians in [1 Cor. 3: 11-15]. He is exhorting the Corithians to build upon the foundation of Jesus Christ, because He is the foundation that will last, not the perishable stuff of the world. So, I was thinking of what is imperishable according to the Word of God that I ought to build with upon the foundation of Jesus Christ?

1. God's Word [Isaiah 40: 8]
2. God's Kingdom [Revelation 22: 1-5]
3. Soul's of men

For me, the commands of Jesus that best fits these pursit are found in:

[Matthew 28:19,20] "Go, therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the very end of the age".

[Matthew 6: 19-21, 31-33] "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither rust nor moth destroys and where theives do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will also."

"Do not worry then, saying 'What will we eat' or 'What will we drink' or 'What will we wear for clothing'? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father know that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

For me, I see that we are to actively pursue making disciples of Jesus Christ, and that building upon the Kingdom of God with the souls of men [1 Peter 2:5] [1 Cor. 3:16] and knowing Jesus through His Word [John 15:7,8] are the most important things in this life and will last, even after we die! If you are looking to impact the world and leave your mark here, you will fail. If you desire to see people impacted for eternity and to know the Creator of the Universe and the Lover of our souls, that will last!

I tie this all back to what I am doing with my life, because sometimes I feel like it has no impact and that I am wasting my life away with pursuing fundraising and ministry and such. But then I read Psalms like this and take a trip with the Lord through His Word on the stuff that lasts, and am convinced that I have the sweetest job in the world; I get to see people impacted for eternity and I get to spend time with the Lord in His word as a job! So, all the fundraising and trusting of the Lord is just a step I need to take to be able to do what I believe God has led me and my wife to do!

Purpose and Potential

by Val,

Snow is a funny thing...

This summer I kinda felt like snow. Not cold and white, but rather unmoving and fragile. Whereas water gushes and flows, snow sits silently while it waits. It sits there for who knows how long just waiting to melt.

This summer I forgot that snow melts. Also, that snow has a purpose, and a potential. You see, without the cold of snow, the internal mechanism of some plants would never allow them to germinate. The seeds become plants only after they have been touched by the frost of snow. God also had a purpose for my time of snow. He never wastes time ever,He always has a purpose for what he is doing.

Snow also has the potential to become life giving water. The funny thing is though, snow can't just will itself to magically become water. It has to wait on the sun to melt it. In a similar way, no matter how much I wanted to move, it didn't make a difference because I still had to wait for God to provide the funding.

So now here we are at the next chapter. Now that we are moved, how will I use this time? When snow melts sometimes it still just sits there in a puddle. Other times it mixes with dirt and creates messy mud sludges. However, other times this water seeps into the ground, to where it is no longer seen and gives life to the grass and plants around it. It dies to itself.

John 12
24I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

My prayer is that Ryan and I learn to die to self while at San Diego State. That we model Christ in serventhood, grace and truth. Our goal is to make our house a place of refuge where students can come and experience Jesus everytime. That "in everything we would set the students an example by doing what is good." Titus 2:7. That I would "teach what is good. " Titus 2:5 to the younger women. That we would both be "active in sharing our faith, so that we would have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." Philemon 6.

We ask that you would keep these verse in mind while you pray with us.

John 12:24
Titus 2:7
Titus 2:3
Philemon 6

His Ways, His Acts

YAY! Our cute little pink/peach house. God is the great provider!

In training yesterday God gave me a quick kick in the behind. We were talking about the Israelites and Moses in the books of Exodus and Numbers. As many of you know, it is full of God's provision and the Isrealities ungratefulness. I don't know about you, but I use to roll my eyes at the Isrealites and guffaw at their constant lack of faith. However, God has really humbled me during these last, almost six months.

We didn't know where we would live, how we would pay our bills or when we would be fully funded, if ever. Some days God gave me the strength to trust. Other days, not so much. Our teacher made a good point though.

Psalm 103: 7
He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

Moses praised God for His ways, the Isrealites praised God for just His acts.

Moses was constantly praying to know God better in both the good times and the hard times. Though he would get frustrated with the people, his faith in God did not waver. Though he was in charge of over 2 million people INCLUDING his wife and two sons, he still made time to be with God. Moses faithfully followed God and His ways.

In contrast, the people were not concererend with God's ways, but rather with His provision. The would rejoice when things were good and grumble when things were difficult. They would frustrate GOd with their lack of faith and grumbling attidudes. In comparsion to Moses, their responsibilites were simingly small, yet not many of them sought to really know God.

Moses followed for the long run. The Isrealites only followed when things were going well.

So what if it's a long, difficult path for us to be fully funded? So what if this new rental house falls through like the last one? So what if we have to change a tire as we travel to California? So what if the students at SDSU are not responive? There are many things, hard things that God may still have planned for us. Because He loves me, because he wants to grow me. The question is, will I be an Isrealite or a Moses? Will I continue to seek his face during even the hard times? Will I continue being in the Word even when it's hard, or confusing, or seeminingly not encouraging? Will I continue to pray even it feels like He's not listening? Will I continue sharing the truth even when people scoff or ignore me?

Do I rejoice over his ways...or just his acts?

God's Provision!

77 %!
Praise God for His provision!
Thanks to all of you for your support!
San Diego Here We Come!

On Friday we will be looking at some places to live. Please pray that God will guide us to the perfect place he has picked out for us at that time. Also, it's looking like we will be loading the truck on Friday the 7th of Nov. and then heading out to San Diego on Saturday early morning. We would love any help be it prayers for a safe move, physically on Friday/Saturday loading and unloading, or even financially for gas for the moving trailer. We appreciate all your support and are excited to see what God has in store for us on Friday.

A Hurting Heart

By Val

Pain, intense, dark, screaming, lonely, empty, mournful...
Sitting in the grass, weeping.
Head bowed in defeat.
Heart crushed and mulled.
Bombarded with dark thoughts, voices, screaming. Loud piercing yells.
Make it stop. Anything. Make the pain go away. Anything.
Dark thoughts envelope me. Hopelessness encompasses me. Alone, all alone.

Brokeness is everywhere. WE are broken. The world is broken. I am broken.

College for me was a hard time. A time of despair, pain and hurt. Many late nights I would lay by the pool wondering if I could just slip away into the darkness. Wishing it would engulf me and sleep would would overtake me and I would never have to wake-up again.

I was so broken, it stared me in the eyes every morning. Never did I have the energy to fight it. It dragged me down like the swift tide of the black oceans. Every night, tears pouring, heart breaking, loneliness embracing.

I covered it with sin after sin. Hiding from who I was. Hiding from who I should be. Hiding from the only one who could help. A spiraling hole I dug myself. Self-destructive decision after another overlapping themselves.

I was down. I could travel no lower. Broken pieces of myself scattered like china across the cold steel floor. Dark, without any hope of light.

But that was exactly where I needed to be.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Over a long, arduous, and painful process the healing was allowed to begin. I faced the truth of of who I was by reading of the truth of who HE is. Hiding is just a facade. I cannot hide. I was never alone. I cannot fix myself. I had to let Him fix me through His word, prayer, worship, community and time.

This is why I feel so deeply for the college ladies God puts in my life. I want to comfort others, because He comforted me.

2 Cor 1:3-7
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

I hear so many stories of brokeness, of pain and despair.I hurt for so many women. My heart breaks for these precious jewels of God. I get so angry at Satan and sin. Tempting, lying and seeking to destroy these wonderful crowns of beauty. Worst of all, is when he maims them and whispers in their ears dark stabs of hopelessness. They are left as cripples. Hanging onto cliffs by their fingertips when they should be dancing on hills of joy.

I cry for these ladies. Cry that they are shackled to their pain. I want to scream on the mountain tops:

"Yes, it is hard to face the truth. To face the pain. I know, I've been there. But you are not alone, you were never alone, you will never be alone. It is done. You are free. You are forgiven. Believe it, and it is so. Walk in His love. Roll in His blessings. And wrap yourself in his warm peace and hope."

The world is dark. We are not of the world. We of His world. We are strangers and aliens. We have been hurt, lied to, deceived and beat up. I pray that they will stop listening to their fears. To the lies that crippled them. I pray that He would show them truth. I pray for these girls. I pray that would run to him, drink from his well, lie in his green pastures and listen. Listen to the one that can "bind up the broken hearted."

"Dear God,
My heart hurts for her. So much pain. She whispers to me her past and tears sting my eyes. I see who she could be, but she refuses to believe. She lives in lies I am too familiar with. Crippled by her own fears. I don't know what to do. I pray for her everyday. My heart breaks everyday. I want her to experience the joy you have given me. The hope you have instilled in me. The vision you have shown me. How? What can I do? You've called me away. Yet I see the pain. I see it in her eyes. Dark, empty and confused. I love her so much. Don't let her go. Strengthen her. Show her the way. "Sanctify her by the truth; your word is truth." Guide her steps. Love her. Love her deeply. Unshackle her so she can walk in the identity you have called her into. The identity you have created for her since the beginning of time. Refine her, so that she too can have a heart that breaks for you. So that one day her heart will brim over with compassion, over the girls you have put in HER life."

"He was a very intense child."

"Intense. Very Intense." This is how my mom described me as a baby...and as a child... and again as a teenager...And now that I think of it, probably as I am now.

My mom told me a story about the way in which I would practice my clarinet when I was younger. I would play and play a piece until it was perfect, and if it wasn't perfect in the amount of time I thought it should be I would get so mad that I would THROW my clarinet across the room. Finally my mom "broke" me of this habit...by getting me to throw the music stand instead. An improvement, but not a big one. There was another time when I was auditioning for the Arizona All-State Band in high school, and I got so frustrated with my performance in the audition that after I left the room that I was auditioning in I actually threw my fist into the wall of the music building. These are just a few of the colorful stories that capture my unfortunate personality of being intense.

As you can expect this has caused quite a bit of strife and harm in relationships that I have had with people. I often come across as harsh, competitive, argumentative, and aggressive. And the person who really has to deal with this first hand is my wonderful wife. I feel so blessed that God has given her to me because she is so patient and kind and gentle with me as I undergo God's tempering of my spirit.

Recently Valerie brought to my attention how I had become more aggressive and argumentative in the past few months than I had been in the last couple of years. It was hard to hear that because I do not really like that aspect of my personality and have been trying to give God's Spirit more and more control over my life and attitudes. I thought that I had been improving in that area. One of the phrases in scripture that has been running through my mind for about a year is found in Ephesians 4:2 "with all humility and gentleness...". I have been trying to live that out as it pertains to walking with Christ in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ. I struggle so much with gentleness, compassion and humility so, to hear Valerie bring that up definitely made me get before the Lord and seek His thoughts on this.

The next morning I was spending some time with Jesus in His word and God gave me two passages of scripture that I am now memorizing and meditating on:

Proverbs 16:32
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who captures a city."

Proverbs 17:27
"He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding."

These verses cut me to the quick and I knew as I read them that Valerie was the instrument that God was using to continue the tempering process in this area of my life. I feel like these verses speak for themselves so I will not attempt to expound upon them, but believe me when I say that it is harder to live out these verses than to read and memorize them. I memorized them in a day, but I will be seeking to live out these verses, with the help of the Spirit, for my whole life.

As I have been spending time in prayer over this, God has shown me that I often do not think of humility, gentleness, being slow to anger, restraining my words, and being tender with people, as strong characteristics.

As being characteristics of a good leader.

But I am about as wrong as you can be about that.

Jesus is the perfect example of how humility, compassion, gentleness, etc. all are characteristics of a truly godly servant-leader. As the Spirit of God works in me and tempers me I see more and more the value of these fruits of the Spirit. Not only in my relationship with my wife and others, but more importantly in my relationship with God! I have experienced a deeper and more intimate communion with Jesus because He is working those things into my life.

O' the sweet pain of the Great Doctor's scalpel in my heart,
turning me toward a greater affection, commitment, knowledge, and reliance upon Him!
The pain comes from my sin and depravity acting against God's work in my heart,
and will only go away when I enter in His eternal rest
where there will be pain no more!

At the Foot of His Bed

So, as many of you heard, Ryan got a dog. He's this little black mop of a thing. Not much different then my dog. Completely black with a slightly brown underside, so black in fact that sometimes it's even hard to figure out where even his eyes are, among all that black.

Two dogs, similar shape, color, and appearance. In the dim light, it's even hard for ME to differentiate from the two of them if their faces aren't looking at me. Though, with all their similarities, their personalities couldn't be any different.

Samwise, or Sammywise, as my little cousin calls him, is VERY independent. Sleeps by himself, sits by himself, and only comes to me when he thinks he's going to get something. If I yell his name once, he'll come bounding towards me like a hell hound. But if I don't reward him with "the goods", well that's the last of that. I'll be lucky if I even get pompous glance from him the next time I call him. He's friendly enough though. When people come over, he's the first to say hi. However, don't expect him to stick around once he's throughly sniffed you in ever creavice conceivable. However, in many ways I envy him. He has this, "I don't care what you think", attitude and stance. When you pick him up does he jump so it's easier for you to lift him? Does he tuck in his feet so you can hold him up nicely? Of course not. Whatever position you picked him up in, that's the position he'll stay in and if you don't like that you may as well put him down. He doesn't need the affirmation of no one, no how.

Then there's Dickens. Good ole Dickens. Not only does he come when I call, but he'll fly off the couch, bound between the other dogs and their food (not always the smartest move), race through the house, then continues to launch himself four feet in the air landing right beside me on the bed. Does it matter if I have a treat? maybe... Does he care if I ask him to this a hundred times a day? possibly... But he never shows it! He loyally follows me and obeys me no matter how daunting it may seem ( I don't sit still very well.) Sometimes I'll even come out of the BATHROOM and there he will be, just sitting by the door. His favorite time of the day is "time for bed", where he chases after me, snuggles himself at the foot of my bed and he just sleeps. Whenever I look around, if I don't see him, it's almost always because he's tucked under my feet, curled up on the carpet. For him, his job, come hell or highwater, seems to be just to be with me. To rest near me. To follow me.

During this time of waiting on God I've really had to examine how I am responding to God. Do I sit by myself, too preoccupied with what's in it for me? Or am I like Dickens. He can't really feed himself, wash himself, give himself water...or really do anything other then eat, sleep, and play. Yet, he's learned to follow the voice of his master. "to lie down in green pastures...to be led by streams of water". So utterly dependent, so utterly needy.

God is the reason I am able to wake up in the morning. He is my Master, and I know he is utterly in love with me. What other reason do I need to spend the rest of my days pursuing Him?
What other reason do I need?
to just lay by his feet
and sleep at the foot of his bed.