I love my job. But...It's so easy in this stage of my life to look around at all my friends and peers and wonder if this is where we are REALLY suppose to be. From the world's stand point, I just feel like we missed the boat somewhere. There seems nothing about our life that even hints at any kind of success. This causes questions to begin running through me head, like "Should I have stayed a music teacher? Should we have started having kids earlier? Should I have gotten my Masters? Should Ryan have gone down a different career path? Should we have stayed in Arizona? or at least moved somewhere less pricey?" But then I come back from nights like this night and I KNOW in my very soul that we are exactly where God has placed us and wants us. I think for me, success in life is being faithful to where God has placed you and being joyfully content for the things He's placed in your life. And if that is success, then I feel like he's pushing me in that direction.
I love being with these college students. I love laughing with them, talking with them, playing games with them and even crying with them. I love telling them about Jesus, praying with them, praying for them, watching them grow, and being there when they fall. I love them so much that I feel I'm beginning to understand a little bit about how Paul felt when he told the Phillipian church that "God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." My prayer is that this affection grows between us and them but also between the students themselves. Our prayer for the ministry this semester is that their hearts would be knitted together for the work of the Gospel on the campus at SDSU. If God would do that, then I feel we could look back and say we had a pretty successful semester as a ministry. But as for me personally, I want to continually strive for faithfulness and joyful contentment. Only then, do I feel I will be able to stop comparing myself to others and see that the only success that matters is what Christ already did on the cross. Everything after that is just...small potatoes.
1 comment:
Very Beautiful, Valerie. I have thought of this often and share some of the same apprehension in my own life from time to time. It always brings us back to Him though, doesn't it. :)
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