"Building upon the imperishable, rather than the perishable"

This is Ryan Buss. I know that Valerie has been blogging for the last couple of months, so I thought that it was an appropriate time for me to blog! She has done such a wonderful job, I feel like she is tough act to follow. However, I will blog and hope that it is articulate enough for you, the reader, to enjoy and think about with me on this matter :)

I just had a quiet time with the Lord in Psalm 49. It is a wonderful Psalm written by the sons of Korah who have written several Psalms to our Lord that He included in His written Word. This Psalm comes at a very good time in my life as I ponder and consider the future for me and my wife. To be perfectly honest, our funding has been quite slow and hard going, and I have naturally been asking myself if this is the path that God would have us walk down. As I have been considering other paths and careers that I could pursue, God has been very faithful in our times toghether in His Word to remind me to wait patiently and to trust Him!

Every quiet time I have had with the Lord this summer at least one of those themes would come up and I would feel encouraged by Him to keep pressing on and to persever in this time of hardship. Today, it was about my career options in general and how I am doing exactly what I love to do, and what I feel passionately led to do! The Psalm is all about how every single person is under the same inevitability of death and how all of our strivings and pursuits will avail nothing if not with the glory of God in mind. Here are a couple of verses from that Psalm that I have been pondering and have been turning my eyes back to the lifestyle that God has led me into:

Psalm 49

vs. 10" For he sees that even wise men die; the stupid and the senseless alike perish and leave their wealth to others."
vs. 16,17" Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house is increased; for when he dies he will carry nothing away; his glory will not descend after him."

These are intense verses, but they remind me of how transient our life is and how the stuff that we strive for in this life is often stuff that doesn't last and will burn away in eternity.

As I was reading, I was reminded of Paul's first letter to the Corinthians in [1 Cor. 3: 11-15]. He is exhorting the Corithians to build upon the foundation of Jesus Christ, because He is the foundation that will last, not the perishable stuff of the world. So, I was thinking of what is imperishable according to the Word of God that I ought to build with upon the foundation of Jesus Christ?

1. God's Word [Isaiah 40: 8]
2. God's Kingdom [Revelation 22: 1-5]
3. Soul's of men

For me, the commands of Jesus that best fits these pursit are found in:

[Matthew 28:19,20] "Go, therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the very end of the age".

[Matthew 6: 19-21, 31-33] "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither rust nor moth destroys and where theives do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will also."

"Do not worry then, saying 'What will we eat' or 'What will we drink' or 'What will we wear for clothing'? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father know that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

For me, I see that we are to actively pursue making disciples of Jesus Christ, and that building upon the Kingdom of God with the souls of men [1 Peter 2:5] [1 Cor. 3:16] and knowing Jesus through His Word [John 15:7,8] are the most important things in this life and will last, even after we die! If you are looking to impact the world and leave your mark here, you will fail. If you desire to see people impacted for eternity and to know the Creator of the Universe and the Lover of our souls, that will last!

I tie this all back to what I am doing with my life, because sometimes I feel like it has no impact and that I am wasting my life away with pursuing fundraising and ministry and such. But then I read Psalms like this and take a trip with the Lord through His Word on the stuff that lasts, and am convinced that I have the sweetest job in the world; I get to see people impacted for eternity and I get to spend time with the Lord in His word as a job! So, all the fundraising and trusting of the Lord is just a step I need to take to be able to do what I believe God has led me and my wife to do!

"He was a very intense child."

"Intense. Very Intense." This is how my mom described me as a baby...and as a child... and again as a teenager...And now that I think of it, probably as I am now.

My mom told me a story about the way in which I would practice my clarinet when I was younger. I would play and play a piece until it was perfect, and if it wasn't perfect in the amount of time I thought it should be I would get so mad that I would THROW my clarinet across the room. Finally my mom "broke" me of this habit...by getting me to throw the music stand instead. An improvement, but not a big one. There was another time when I was auditioning for the Arizona All-State Band in high school, and I got so frustrated with my performance in the audition that after I left the room that I was auditioning in I actually threw my fist into the wall of the music building. These are just a few of the colorful stories that capture my unfortunate personality of being intense.

As you can expect this has caused quite a bit of strife and harm in relationships that I have had with people. I often come across as harsh, competitive, argumentative, and aggressive. And the person who really has to deal with this first hand is my wonderful wife. I feel so blessed that God has given her to me because she is so patient and kind and gentle with me as I undergo God's tempering of my spirit.

Recently Valerie brought to my attention how I had become more aggressive and argumentative in the past few months than I had been in the last couple of years. It was hard to hear that because I do not really like that aspect of my personality and have been trying to give God's Spirit more and more control over my life and attitudes. I thought that I had been improving in that area. One of the phrases in scripture that has been running through my mind for about a year is found in Ephesians 4:2 "with all humility and gentleness...". I have been trying to live that out as it pertains to walking with Christ in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ. I struggle so much with gentleness, compassion and humility so, to hear Valerie bring that up definitely made me get before the Lord and seek His thoughts on this.

The next morning I was spending some time with Jesus in His word and God gave me two passages of scripture that I am now memorizing and meditating on:

Proverbs 16:32
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who captures a city."

Proverbs 17:27
"He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding."

These verses cut me to the quick and I knew as I read them that Valerie was the instrument that God was using to continue the tempering process in this area of my life. I feel like these verses speak for themselves so I will not attempt to expound upon them, but believe me when I say that it is harder to live out these verses than to read and memorize them. I memorized them in a day, but I will be seeking to live out these verses, with the help of the Spirit, for my whole life.

As I have been spending time in prayer over this, God has shown me that I often do not think of humility, gentleness, being slow to anger, restraining my words, and being tender with people, as strong characteristics.

As being characteristics of a good leader.

But I am about as wrong as you can be about that.

Jesus is the perfect example of how humility, compassion, gentleness, etc. all are characteristics of a truly godly servant-leader. As the Spirit of God works in me and tempers me I see more and more the value of these fruits of the Spirit. Not only in my relationship with my wife and others, but more importantly in my relationship with God! I have experienced a deeper and more intimate communion with Jesus because He is working those things into my life.

O' the sweet pain of the Great Doctor's scalpel in my heart,
turning me toward a greater affection, commitment, knowledge, and reliance upon Him!
The pain comes from my sin and depravity acting against God's work in my heart,
and will only go away when I enter in His eternal rest
where there will be pain no more!

Support

Lean on Me
by Bill Withers

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

These lyrics have really rung true for me, during these last few days.

This last week has been really hard on me due to fundraising. Our first SDSU staff meetings are coming up so soon and I feel we are so far away from being able to move. SDSU's Sept 2nd start up date feels likes it's pummeling down on us. I feel so broken and disheartened at times. It's only been 10 days since are temporary move but it seems like a lifetime, a lifetime of waiting and not very well on my part at that. When Lord, will you allow us to move to San Diego?

I try my best to figure our what it means to minister where I am RIGHT NOW, but it's sooo difficult to figure that out. I feel like I'm in limbo. Everyone keeps saying things like "I'm so glad that you are still here in AZ." I appreciate their sentiment, and I do love everyone in Arizona so much, but my thoughts and plans are already ahead of me in San Diego. So, I fall into despair. Wrestling with my thoughts and heart. Thinking, we will never get there.

God has brought Ecclesiastes to mind during these times:

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

I thank God so much for Ryan especially now. He has been my support his week. To spur me on, to help me up, to keep me warm, and to defend me against my own dark thoughts. He is my gift from God. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Along with him, there are so many of you who also listen so patiently to my cries. You are the one's I lean on.

So, in closing, we continue to openly invite you to become partners with us financially. Only 19 more people, who pledge $50 a month, to get us to San Diego. God only asks that we invite, He will do the rest. In the mean time. Thank you for letting me "Lean on You."